The Mountain Echo

New Territory
Stu and Sophie have graduated from their antics in the vestiere, and have moved on up all the way to the spirits cupboard. When you next order a vodka pomme in Dicks, remember that the bottle from which it was served has probably seen far more than it bargained for!

A Request
Following on from the above shenanigans, BT (Moris) requests that people refrain from having sex in the Moris toilets. She isn’t a massive fan of discovering and cleaning up used condoms.

Hearts for Hartley
Olly has been making his presence felt this week in the affections of Katherine (VSpot). We aren’t entirely sure what happened but rest assured we will do our best to find out.

The Wrestler
Danyeo (Chardon) tried to better Benno at his game of wrestling a wooden street barrier to the ground. It didn’t go according to plan and the barrier managed to dislocate all her fingers. She then had to click them all back into place by herself. Dan’s advice: Don’t try to be as big as Benno.

Married
Claire (Warm Up) and Alex (Snowberry) were married in Dicks recently by Leapy, who claims that he is an ordained minister thanks to a rather boring period in his life when he broke his leg. Al (Blue Note) was best man and Naomi (Blue Note) was maid of honour. It can’t have been that memorable an occasion given that none of them remembered a thing the next day until someone reminded them of the previous night’s festivities.

Car Nap
Shala’s cries to take someone home with her after a night in Dicks were heard by Ed last week, but he got more than he bargained for when they were joined at 5am by the rest of the Dicks staff who jumped into bed with them, prompting him to run away and spend the rest of the night in his car.

Naked Wanderer
James (Basecamp) made the error of walking into Tommo (Saloon) and Ben’s (VSpot) apartment last week, having forgotten all of his clothes. Hoping for something, or perhaps someone, to help send him to sleep, he got into Tommo’s bed, but promptly wet himself. Have fun cleaning those sheets.

Dentistry
Liam (Moris) tried his hand at a new profession this week: dentistry. When spotted with a pair of pliers in boiling water he said that he was ‘sterilising them’ to remove his tooth. His amateur orthodontics were unsuccessful and he still had to have the root canal and lay off the booze while he completes his course of antibiotics.

Hiding in the Bushes
Freddie (Saloon) had questions last week about what it would be like to be with another man. None of the other Saloon boys was willing to satisfy his curiosity, but they claim that on their way to Dicks he mysteriously appeared from some bushes. What he was doing in there can’t be clarified at this point but perhaps it has something to do with his wandering mind?

Sausage Riding
Jono evidently hasn’t learnt his lesson about the sausages, and this week took some friends for a team competition on Le Face. It all got a bit gnarly and ended up with ripped jeans and ice burn, but everyone seemed to enjoy it and no damage was done. Expect some kind of unofficial world championship event by next week at the rate he’s going.

Old but still going
James (Warm Up) has been well and truly worn out by Sam’s sister in the bedroom. Not so keen on being woken up these days, James said that he had to pretend to be asleep so he wouldn’t have to summon up the blood for the 8th time in 20 hours. His quote was “I’m too old for this. I was like, ‘I’m too tired to do it again’.”

Snooze you Lose
Michaela (Moris) had such a grand birthday that she decided to end it by taking a nap in the very comfortable VIP area in Dicks. Owen (Dicks) tried to wake her, but even a good old shake couldn’t get her up. Turned out that all Sleeping Beauty needed was a kiss from Prince Charming.

Love is Crystal Clear
It would appear that Pete (Crystal), after many failed attempts, has finally found love….with Adam (Crystal). The pair have been caught shaving each other’s hair in nothing but boxers, comparing sizes (of belly button fluff?!?) and having mid-afternoon spooning sessions on the sofa! Who said romance was dead?

Quote of the Week
Tom (Bananas) “I’m actually a nice person but people are blinded by my good looks and think I’m an arsehole”

Culinary Delights
The Snowline girls have sussed out that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Apple Crumble is a hot favourite. We’re sure that the boys aren’t complaining and won’t be any time soon.

Gay Ski Week
Some seasonnaires have been taking European Gay Ski Week very seriously. Liam (Moris) took a game of chicken a step too far last week leaving him questioning whether he’s in or out of the closet and which team he will be batting for.

Heydå
A fond farewell to Per from Victors who is leaving us, breaking hearts all over resort and pleasing all the hotel managers who have swimming pools to look after. Who will take his place as resident Insider swim team pro!

Mantle Accepted
No sooner do we call for a new swim team than Phil (Moris) and Katy (Dicks) step up to the plate. Any small semblance of stealth was removed when Katy announced to the fellow swimmers that they were doing the front crawl ‘in her dirty sex water’. Bragging rights taken to the extreme.

Greg Evans, Ski Instructor 2
Just when you thought is was safe to go back on the Dicks dance floor http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huvHOTHB1Qc

Desperate Measures
Alex (Snowberry) obviously is going through some desperate times this week as he was spotted cuddling and dancing with a dead mouse he found on the street. He is though giving Bear Grylls a run for his money as he seems to be skinning or stuffing any dead animal he finds these days. Chamois hoof hat anyone?

Revenge
After last week Ralphy and Dan (Saloon) are out for revenge on Irish for his loose lips. Shame they didn’t seem to have anything that would grace these pages this week. Send us an email boys and we’ll quite happily help you give Irish his just deserts.

Table Dancers
The Victors restaurant girls were spotted dancing in their bras on a Folie table. Spring has finally sprung and it would appear that many a man in resort is very pleased about it.

Face Shots
Jono (Bananas) tried to mount a large inflatable sausage this week but the sausage was having none of it and viciously fought back the results of which are a bit of a fat lip and a good graze on the chin for poor Jono. Even worse was that he seemed to have a dream about the fight and ended up almost punching poor Jules (Danois) in the face while he was sleeping.

Sofa Surfing
Si (Saloon) has spent a few nights on his sofa this week but not because he’s in the doghouse. More like the night his girlfriend left resort he got so drunk that he threw up in his own bed and then didn’t change the sheets for three days because he apparently ‘couldn’t be bothered’.

Look Out
Audrey’s back and she’s a maneater apparently so all the red blooded males of Val d’Isere better watch their backs.

What’s the Story?
Nickie (VSpot) broke her shoulder this week and rumour has it that it was because Katherine (VSpot) pushed her off a table while having a good time at the Folie. Katherine however maintains that it happened when Nickie fell out of a sex swing. Who do you believe?

Rowdy Group
Punters were getting their dance on in Saloon and having an epic dance off in Saloon. Many a retro dance move was spotted being cracked out for the enjoyment of the crowd.

2 Hours
Poor Brommers (Moris) had to have her hair held back for two hours this week while she was being sick. What on earth have you been eating and drinking my dear! Dave (Moris) was the kind hair holder but apparently he may have tried to cop a feel at the same time!

Cranberry Craving
Leona is having to drink a lot of cranberry juice at the moment thanks to the amorous intentions of James from Powder White. We wish you a speedy recovery!

Stay out All Night
Poor Rachel (VIP) had to go to Dicks solo so her housemate could get some action back in their room. What a selfless act and we hope the favour is returned soon!

Rushed off His Feet
Henry has had a busy week what with trying to protect his sister’s dignity from various admirers and coming onto Briohny in a hot tub. Obviously a very good multi tasker.

Special Pizza Topping
Dave (Moris) had such a good time at the X Games last week that he fell down some stairs while carrying his pizza. Sadly it hit the deck, but as an ardent fan of the ten second rule he picked it up and ate it, apparently there was a bit of an aftertaste though that was more toilet than tasty delight.

Splash Landing
Per (Victors) is once again bidding to be on the Val swim team and this time taking Malin as his swim coach. His technique must be very good by now!

Duvel Part II
Following on from his fun times with the Duvel rep, Matt (Blue Note) was then unable to speak when his sister came into the bar so he was kindly taken away by Al who responsibly took him to Warm Up where every drink was apple juice except Matt thought it was Agwa and then snorted some sugar whilst hiding behind a menu. Apparently while this all was going down he was wearing a fetching pair of knickers on his head until he was chucked out for apparently shagging some girl in the toilet, but that was all made up too by his loving friends. Unlucky Matt!

A Request
Damo (Snowberry) asks that if possible could the lady seasonnaires shave their legs before coming to him for a boot fitting. A razor or a wax can’t be that expensive surely?

Moving Time
It would appear that Fredrik (Victors) has moved to the Danois for the season, he hasn’t slept in his own bed in at least 10 days at the last count.

Cheeky
www.cheekybutlers.co.uk and if you’re interested then one of them can be found in the Bananas kitchen this season, ask for Tom. He has also given up drinking and sex for the rest of the season but Katherine (VSpot) wonders what other parts of him are left after those two are taken out of the equation.

Too Important?
Sam (Jukebox Mamas) pissed on his own floor this week because apparently ‘the big cheese does not need a toilet’. Not so sure that’ll be true the morning afterwards.

Sugar Daddies
Elsie, Michaela (Moris) and Lauren and Katy (Dicks) picked up some older men in Dicks this week and were rewarded with a bottle of Veuve Cliquot each. They didn’t feel they could leave them in the lurch though so kindly escorted the gentlemen to Doudoune for the rest of their evening.

Turn off your red light
Ralphy (Saloon) has been rewarded by his feature in the Insider last week and has now turned off his red light over the DJ booth. Katie (Moris) and Sarah (Nortlander) kindly stepped up to get him over his bad patch of luck with the ladies.

Glassed
Tommo (Pull-In) was unlucky once again as he took a glass to the face from a girl this week. The Danois staff were on hand to help clean him up but it took 5 stitches to put him back together. Seriously guys, you need to love more and hate less.

Wet Dreams
Ella (Warm Up) had rather a big night last week that ended with her having an ‘accident’ while she was asleep. One sheet wash and announcement to the whole of Warm Up later, she’s felt rather shamefaced and will definitely be trying to make it to the toilet on time in future.

Sleep Walk
Beware when you nap in the day because you might end up like Charlie who sleep-walked downstairs from his apartment into a random flat and then went for a number two in the middle of their living room. Even worse was that he had to return to reclaim his trousers following the event!

Cold Tub
Soph B (T4 Nanny) Wasn’t too interested in a gentleman holiday maker she meet in Dicks until she discovered her night could lead to (Hot) hot tub shinanigans. The walk of shame across town in the wee hours of the morning was a very cold & wet. It’s a good idea to take your clothes off before you get in the tub.

You’re Barred
Stu (Crystal) has been barred from a few establishments around town after getting ever so slightly hammered and then trying to get into places using phrases such as ‘don’t you know who I am?’ and ‘I’m practically your manager’. If you have to ask people if they know who you are then you’ve defeated the point of being somebody around town!

Collector’s Items
Georgie (Mountain Rooms) is collecting the male members of the Saloon staff. They believe she’s taking advantage of them in various drunken states, with Dan (Saloon) the last victim. Only one remains to complete the set, Georgie, but apparently he fancies your best mate!

Congrats
Chambers finally acquired her target last week and got a home run out of it. Congratulations on your persistence finally paying off!

I do
The Insider played vicar this week, marrying two bar staff in town. We aren’t sure if it’s legally binding, but please don’t come knocking on our door for a divorce as there’s far too much paperwork involved.

Rat Race
The date has been confirmed for the Greeneye Rat Race for 7th April, GET YOUR TEAMS READY!

Duvel
The Duvel rep was in town this week and certainly took Matt (Blue Note) for a ride. Last seen asleep on his own bar and talking something that wasn’t quite English, the rep obviously did a good job on selling his product to dear Matthew.

Question
Teddy (Saloon) would like to know whether you would prefer to shag a goat once and everyone know about it, or shag a goat every night and no one know. Answers on a postcard to Saloon please.

KP Dreams of Management
Rob (Danois) obviously loves his job as, when he falls asleep, not only does he talk about it but also shouts out the names of his managers Jules and Rach. Clearly these lovely ladies have been entertaining Rob’s subconscious all season.

RIP
Erin (YSE) killed Irish’s best friend and he claims he will never forgive her. RIP Albert the egg, aged 4 years.

Vom
Jock managed to be sick over himself and Verd (Le Ski) after he was handed a shooter that didn’t seem to quite want to stay down. He threw up over his companion who was apparently not bothered due to the fact that he ‘smelled anyway’. Jock, however, had no recollection of the event and was only told the following day, although he says he did know that he had ‘done something wrong’ whilst out on his bender.

Wax
Katherine (VSpot) has tamed her legendary nether region mogwai and finally had a wax. We believe it was a Californian. She celebrated by taking home one of the Surefoot lads for a show and tell session.

Smitten
Jack (La Foret) is apparently smitten with Sarah (Powder White). We wish you guys the best of luck but ask to be notified when you have completed the Foret rite of passage of getting down to it in the bar. We want to know which seating areas to avoid.

Spotted
Elliot (Dicks) and MC (Saloon) were spied canoodling in Dicks. Happy Birthday MC!

Rumours
Vicious rumours are spreading about Owen and Debbie having some Dicks staff love. We can’t confirm anything just yet but we’ll keep our eyes peeled for the dinner date.

Barreled Over
Tommo (Saloon) tried to have his way with Sarah (La Foret) in their barrel room but she wasn’t quite as keen and he almost ended up with a squirt of pepper spray to the face.

Burn Baby Burn
Sam (Jukebox Mama) had a trim this week as well when Jay (La Foret) took a Lynx can and a lighter, put them together to make a flame thrower and burnt off all the hair in his nether regions. Apparently he is a ‘hairy little hobbit’ so needed the trim anyway but he could quite possibly have done without the burns that came with it.

Help Please
Kat (4 seasons) needed help going to the toilet in her sleep the other night. IT required one of her housemates to carry her to the toilet, take down her trousers and pants and sit her down on the loo. She then went back to bed like it had been a run of the mill evening. Service with a smile?