Next week though we have a far more important event, that being the Boss des Bosses where Val gets to put it bump skiers against the best from the likes of Cham and Verbier. Good luck team. It’s also Paddy’s day, which seems to be a big event this year. I can smell trouble and if you fancy a bit of old skool raving Vspot is your spot!

On a last note don’t even ask about the weather, we had typo’s on the temp’s but I was up there on Tuesday and ironically it can’t of been far off -29. Mid March what’s going on, bring on the sun and spring snow I say.

Oh and just as we like you all we’ve given you a free sticker, use wisely!

Enjoy MB

We were reminded of three ways to manage risk – even level 2 risk:

1. ski a similar slope aspect and altitide before heading off into the back country
2. Check out your ideas with the piste patrol
3. Do some simple tests with a small snowpit

The group from The Pink House had previously had a private talk and the opportunity to look at the online talk, the day out in glorious sunshine and moderate temperatures allowed us to go into much more depth on Avalanche awareness. We also managed to fit in some riding where the snow conditions allowed us.

The risk was only level 2 and the obvious off-piste looked pretty tracked out, so the general impression was that it was safe. However by following the HAT code of practice we were able to avoid going into difficult snow conditions whihc could have proved dangerous and we discovered that in the untracked areas there were still dangers and risks.

The group had two different ideas on where to go to find great snow. Go off the back of the Grand Col (was good there last week). Go down the Lanchettes where it is North Facing and the snow holds well. But to check this we did two things.

First we skied a slope that was the same aspect and altitude as the Grand Col and discoverd it was pretty cruddy!

Second we asked the piste patrol about the Lanchettes and they told us the wind last night had really blasted the slope and it would be no fun and not that safe.

Then we went on some NE facing untracked slopes (see www.getoffpiste.com ) but went very carefully since the risk is level 2 and that tells you that an increased load on a steep slope can trigger a release (especially NE to NW facing – see bulletin)

When we dug the snowpit we found that there was a top layer of 20cm that was prone to shearing off. (so we were right to go one at a time and use islands of safety.PS if you would like a private talk in your chalet plus a day out doing the “The Talk on the Snow” and beeper training. We have availability this season and can do the whole package for €575 for a group of 6.

This includes a COPE certificate

Skier or Boarder?
Well I started out as a bobsleigher on the Irish bobsleigh team in a bob that was carved out of a giant potato. I didn’t get very far with that so I’ve now switched to being a boarder. Sadly I’m not on the Irish boarding team.

Board
I bought my first board in Aldi before I came out here and I had it for about two months and then one day after a good session at Folie I kicked it away from me and lost it in the trees in La Daille. I got a rental from Precision and then two days later while I was skiing through the trees I found a board buried in the snow. It wasn’t mine but a Ride Society 157. I’ve still got it and it’s an awesome board.

Bindings
I’ve got the bindings that I found on the board which are Burton custom bru bindings. They’ve got a bottle opener on the heel plate so I can open beers while doing backflips.

Boots
I’ve got Salomon David Benedict boots which I bought practically new for 70 Euros off a random punter when I worked at Tocade. He was just some random rich kid who sold them to me at the end of his holiday but they’re a bit broken now so I’m in the market for a new pair.

Clothing
Everything I wear is courtesy of Saloon lost property. I had two weeks without gloves while I waited for someone to lose a pair and not claim them from the bar.

Potatoes
I’ve eaten a good field’s worth of potatoes since I’ve been here: potato milkshake in the morning, potato soup for lunch, potato fondue for dinner and potato soufflé for desert followed by another milkshake before bed. The best potatoes can be found at a stall outside the Moris on a Monday. They are the best in resort by far.

Apart from potatoes?
I mostly eat Yum Yum noodles. You know what I’m talking about, and if you don’t then you probably work in a chalet!

St Patrick’s Day
I’m looking forward to Paddy’s day and will be found in Saloon drinking a small child’s worth of Catalina wine mixer because Teddy drinks all the Guinness.

Avalanche Kit
The only thing I’ve paid for apart from my boots is my brand new Arva axis transceiver. I don’t understand how people can go off-piste without all the right gear and, to be quite honest, my new transceiver is the cat’s pyjamas.

Technophobe
I don’t own a phone, watch, wallet or a bank card. It’s a small town so why bother?

Gypsy
Home is where you park it. I love a good caravan!

It’s that time of year again! The best skiers, telemarkers and boarders from the premier European ski resorts will be gearing up for the competition that settles which of them is top dog. It is of course Boss des Bosses, the premier mogul event for non-professionals itching to get competitive on some bumps while flying the flag for their resort.

Boss des Bosses is a mogul competition held between six resorts from around Europe, who all bringing their best skiers to Chamonix to compete for the title. Bosses is a ski run which you will be able to find on the Grand Montets in Argentiere, Chamonix and it’s where our brave competitors will find themselves facing a hefty set of moguls and two kickers that are in no way small.

The competition is about the teams and wanting to win, but it’s so much more than that. There is a fair amount of drinking as well as music and BBQs to keep you amused throughout the day. Season bonding? This is exactly the kind of event that will see you meeting new people and flying the flag for your resort.

The resorts competing are: Zermatt, Verbier, Meribel, Courchevel, Chamonix and Val d’Isère. From that list you can see that all the heavy hitters are coming along, all of them are pretty serious about their skiing and none of them will be fielding a poor team this side of global warming.

Each team has to have nine members, within which you are required to have two girls, two boarders and two telemarkers. Ever tried moguls on telemark skis? You can imagine how tricky it is and how hot a telemarker you have to be to tackle the course. The teams race in pairs, both going down the run at the same time and being scored at the end.

The teams will weedle some pretty legendary skiers out of the woodwork (keep an eye out for Glen Plake’s mohawk). There will be old school people you don’t know as well as some new faces that you do.

At the end of the day they all deserve support for having the balls to take on the legendary slope. The hectic training schedule of late nights, too much drinking and general bad behaviour has to be rigorously adhered to in the weeks leading up to the competition, to ensure the teams are in full seasonnaire prime come the first run.

The resort also has to provide a judge for the competition. As we go to press we are still unsure who the judge will be, and therefore who to ply with drink for their good favour. We can safely assume that it will be someone very capable of scoring and, particularly, scoring well for their hometown. A bit of favouritism never goes amiss.

Boss des Bosses has been running for 21 years. It’s a longstanding event that has everything going for it. You can’t run a competition for that long unless you’re doing something right! There used to be a requirement for a mono-skier in the team, but that’s been abolished now. Mono-skiing competitions are now the exclusive realm of Val d’Isère (but more on that later).

One of the great things about this day is the amount of people who turn out to support their teams. Last year Verbier brought out 4 bus loads of keen supporters cheering them into third place. If you were thinking about going then get yourself booked, as we’ll need all the support we can get.

A nice day out of resort might be just what the doctor ordered anyway!

You also have a great opportunity to meet people from other resorts. Just remember to end whatever activities you get up to in town before the bus leaves back to Val. The transfer from Chamonix to Val leaves little margin in its departure time, and I doubt your boss will take ‘he/she was a great mogul skier’ as an excuse, even if they should.

Here at TME we will be out supporting in force but also using the day to see some friends from other resorts. You’ll be surprised how far word spreads about this big day out. From what we hear from our sources in Verbier, they are once again bringing a big turnout to try and cheer them into first place. It wouldn’t be proper competition without some decent inter-resort rivalry. For those who attend, if you’re able to get through the day without ending up in a snowball fight with another resort then you definitely haven’t been supporting hard enough!

Naturally, a day such as this would not be complete without the few people turning up in fancy dress to amuse us all. Last year there were costumes aplenty and, as this year’s event falls on St. Patrick’s Day, you can expect to see more leprechauns than you can shake a rainbow and a pot of gold at.

Val d’Isère will be taking out a coach load of people and you can get your tickets from the Warm Up. It’s a great chance to get a morning’s skiing in a different resort before the event, with discounted lift passes available at 22 Euros. Alternatively it’s a mere 12 for the simple ride up the mountain to the first beer of the day!

The bus leaves at 6.30am. We know that’s early, but you’ll have plenty of time to sleep off your hangover on the bus or even just get back on it again. It leaves after the prize giving in Chamonix, returning you here around midnight. Perfect if you have the day off (and it’s a Wednesday so we know many of you do) and great fun to boot.

We will be there flying the flag for Val d’Isère. We certainly hope you will be too. Boss des Bosses is part of our history (it started off as a two-way competition between Chamonix and Val d’Isère) and you’ll regret it if you don’t make the time to go and sample one of the premier events of the season. Lots of bumps, lots of jumps and plenty of drinking… what more could you ask of a day out

You might think that injuries to the thumb are not that significant. However, the thumb allows you to grip with your hand and grasp objects with a pincer movement. Unless you’ve injured your thumb you’ve probably never given it a second thought. If you have injured your thumb you’ll know how disabling it can be.

Injuries to the thumb make up about 10% of all skiing injuries, compared to about 3% of snowboarding injuries. This difference is due to the fact that skiers use poles, which increase the liklihood of levering the thumb during a fall. Sometimes it is the pole strap which causes the damage. Opinions differ on how you should hold your poles. Some people advocate using the straps so that you don’t lose your oles,
but consider how important this is compared to increasing your risk of what could be a serious thumb injury.

Before I get on to specific injuries, a quick anatomy lesson. The thumb is made up of two bones, the distal phalanx and proximal phalanx. At the base of the thumb the proximal phalanx meets the first metacarpal bone at the metacarpo-phalangeal joint (MCPJ). Any of these bones can be fractured either from a direct impact or from a twisting mechanism. The treatment usually requires immobilisation in a cast, but occasionally an operation is required to insert metalwork, especially if the fracture is unstable. The joints between the bones can also dislocate, but this is uncommon and is usually easy to correct.

The bones are all held in place by collateral ligaments on either side. If a ligament is stretched or even snapped it generally heals up without any complications. However, the ligament at the MCPJ on the side nearest the index finger is the one most commonly injured. It is called the ulnar collateral ligament (UCL), and it is unusual because unlike the other thumb ligaments it doesn’t always heal up nicely if it ruptures. The reason for this is that the ends of the ligament fold back and cannot heal naturally. An urgent operation is then required to fix the UCL before it becomes beyond repair. Failure to repair a ruptured UCL can lead to arthritis in the joint, causing permanent pain and stiffness in a very important joint. Injuries to the UCL are known as ‘skier’s thumb’.

In some cases, the ligament is stronger than the bone it is attached to. As the thumb gets wrenched, the ligament pulls off a small fragment of bone, usually the base of the proximal phalanx. This is known as an ‘avulsion fracture’. If the fragment is displaced it will require an operation to insert a metal pin to put it back, even though the fragment is tiny. This is important because if there is a jagged edge to the joint, it will never work properly again and thumb movements will be permanently restricted.

So what should you do if you get skier’s thumb. First of all try not to move it. If you stretch an already damaged ligament you could convert a simple sprain (that would have healed up with a thumb splint) into a complete rupture that requires an operation. Similarly, you could convert an undisplaced avulsion fracture (that would heal up in a cast) to a displaced fracture that requires surgery.

The next thing you should do is get an X-ray. Patients often state that there cannot be a fracture because they can still move the thumb. This is so not true. An X-ray to exclude a fracture is the first thing the doctor will do if there is pain around the UCL. If there is no fracture the doctor will then assess how loose the ligament is. This is a specialised technique and is not something you should try yourself. If the ligament appears to have snapped completely you will be referred to an orthopaedic surgeon. If there is any doubt an ultrasound scan or MRI may be necessary.

People often do not realise the importance of thumb injuries, and it is not uncommon for them to leave it until the next day before seeing the doctor. They are then amazed when they require an X-ray and an emergency referral to hospital for what they thought was an insignificant injury. Don’t fall into the same trap!

This X-ray shows an avulsion fracture caused by the UCL at the base of the proximal phalanx of the thumb. Although the fragment is tiny and only slightly out of place, this fracture required pinning.

The cost of a pint in Val can vary from around 4 to 7 Euros depending on where you favour as a drinking spot. There are various Happy Hours to take away the pain of handing over four quid for a drink, but those prices represent the normal cost of a drink around here.

We accept the prices because we have nowhere else to go, but you’d be hard pressed to find anything cheaper in other parts of France. If you like beer, then get used to digging deep into your pockets and handing over your spare change to the apologetic bar man.

So why is it so much more expensive? If you thought your taxes in the UK were bad, then you definitely shouldn’t be living in France. Like Scandinavia, the taxes are significantly higher and levied in a different way to the UK. Take a glance at your pay slip if you work under a French system and look at how much money you’re giving them in addition to all the other taxes that you pay when you purchase anything.

Beer and alcohol, as with everywhere, is highly taxed. It’s all in an effort to dissuade us from drinking the stuff but naturally we still do. When you hand over your 5 Euro you are largely paying the tax man. It’s not just the bar manager being a greedy sod.

You will struggle to find a cheap drink this side of the Channel. There isn’t a Wetherspoons here so you won’t be paying 99p for a bottle of Becks anytime soon. There is also a law which prevents chains from buying up property up here in the mountains, hence why Val doesn’t have a Starbucks on every corner and a few Burger Kings thrown in for good measure.While you won’t be paying a pound for a pint any time before you return home in May, you can be intelligent about where and when you drink.

Bars want your business and will quite happily put on a good Happy Hour to ensure you get a beverage for après. You won’t quite be paying knock down rates but it is possible to get a sub €4 pint in this town if you time it right.

Comparison with prices elsewhere? Biarritz isn’t exactly knocking itself over to make drinking cheaper and the rest of the south of France isn’t going to be a good bet either. As for Paris, the best of British finding anything sub €5. A ski resort has a drinking culture and Happy Hour just seems to be part of the lifestyle. Not so much in Paris where everyone is far too cool to actually admit that they drink beer. Parisiens live on cigarettes and air. Surely everyone knows that!

You may also want to consider the effect of fiscal belt-tightening on the bars’ bottom lines to practically give drinks away. Some bars in town have halved their staff for the year in order to save the pennies, so it’s not going to pay their wages to be giving away beer at less than they bought it for. We’re all trying to get by, and if your best mate works in a bar then think of it as a way to get some money in their pockets every time you buy a drink.

It is difficult to get your head round it being so expensive, especially if you’re from the UK, particularly from the North of the UK where they are almost paying YOU to drink. Pound a pint nights are very common for the Brits but more of a rarity for our continental counterparts.

So yes, beer is expensive and we all complain about it, but you still chose to come out here and we all seem to have a good time anyway. Accept that you are living the life of a pauper in France and paying out of your ears for everything. It’s not the bars being greedy we promise you, and we’ll buy you a drink at Wetherspoons in the UK if you can prove us wrong!

Living up to its name, Warm Up serves hearty meals for good prices that will really warm you from the inside-out. If you’re looking to get your toes and hands warm then the soup is going to be right up your street. It’s home made and there is a different one every day, from spicy lentil to hearty tomato and the classic leek and potato, it’s all as good as your mummy would make.

Soup isn’t the only thing on the menu, as they also do a great quiche and a spinach and goat’s cheese tart which really hits the spot if you’re a cheese fan. If you’re looking for something with a bit more protein then head for the chicken wings, or for a quick snack go for the classic hot dog.

Eating at Warm Up isn’t just about the food, with the friendly and helpful staff offering table service if you can’t quite bring yourself to walk the 10 steps to the bar. It’s perfect for a relaxing pick me up after a long day on the slopes.

The US Vice-President has heaped criticism on Israel over the building approval for 1000 homes in occupied East Jerusalem. VP Joe Biden, down there trying to kick-start the peace process, demanded the plans be scrapped given the Palestinians want East Jerusalem as their capital, the international community considers it occupied territory upon which it is illegal to build under international law and Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas has refused to re-open talks in light of the dispute. Israel insisted it was a procedural step and not connected to Mr Biden’s visit, which is about as believable as Kevin Spacey’s story about ‘walking his dog’ on Hampstead Heath at 4am. Perhaps the US would have more leverage and appear more neutral if they threatened to cut the $3bn per year they send Israel in military aid.

Public services and transport have ground to a halt in Greece due to a third general strike. Unions say the government’s austerity measures will do more harm than good and put their economy in a deep freeze. The government has sympathised with the public anger but refused to back down. Prime Minister Papandreou, in Washington to butter up President Obama before asking the IMF for help, appealed to the President to crack down on the speculators he says have undermined Greece. A country with $405 billion debt asking for help from one with over $12 trillion is like a teenager with his first hangover asking an alcoholic how to quit drinking.

Seven people have been arrested in Ireland over a plot to kill the Swedish cartoonist who depicted the prophet Mohammed with the body of a dog. Those in custody were refugees from Morocco and Yemen that had gained asylum in Ireland. Muslims regard any image of the Prophet as blasphemy, and militants put a $100k bounty on Lars Vilks’ head back when the controversy arose in 2007. Fear not Mr Vilks, it has to be only a matter of time before the South Park creators put him on the body of a pig, playing lucky Pierre between Satan and Saddam Hussein.

The UK has donated £1m to the South African government to buy condoms ahead of the kissball world cup. Clearly they’re as over-bullish on the chances of English football fans getting action down there as the whole country is over our chances of winning it. A recent study suggests women who drink gain less weight than teetotallers. If they could find them a route home that doesn’t go via Tocade or Pizza Pizza they might be on to something. 235 people have set the record for most kilted skiers on a piste. That just sounds like a challenge to me. Two glass phials said to contain ghosts have been sold at auction in NZ for $2000. Apparently they were the last two people who could remember the Kiwis winning the rugby world cup. Carla Bruni has said there is no way President Pepe Le Pew is cheating on her, amid rumours that both of them are having affairs… so that would be other than the one he had with her while still married to his second wife and the one his second wife had with him while she was married to someone else. As the famous philosopher Chris Rock once said, ‘A man is only as faithful as his options.’

And finally, Sunday is the 14th March which means it’s Steak and Blowjob Day. For the unenlightened, this was created in response to the Clinton Card sponsored abomination that Valentine’s Day has descended into as a simple way to celebrate men and two of the things that will make us most happy. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town or evenings on the sofa talking about feelings. Just a steak and a blowjob. I believe the Danois is doing a steak frites night to take care of the first. How you avail yourself of the second is entirely up to you.

Until next week, I’m off to book a helicopter to the French presidential palace after dinner on Sunday.

Glassed
Tommo (Pull-In) was unlucky once again as he took a glass to the face from a girl this week. The Danois staff were on hand to help clean him up but it took 5 stitches to put him back together. Seriously guys, you need to love more and hate less.

Wet Dreams
Ella (Warm Up) had rather a big night last week that ended with her having an ‘accident’ while she was asleep. One sheet wash and announcement to the whole of Warm Up later, she’s felt rather shamefaced and will definitely be trying to make it to the toilet on time in future.

Sleep Walk
Beware when you nap in the day because you might end up like Charlie who sleep-walked downstairs from his apartment into a random flat and then went for a number two in the middle of their living room. Even worse was that he had to return to reclaim his trousers following the event!

Cold Tub
Soph B (T4 Nanny) Wasn’t too interested in a gentleman holiday maker she meet in Dicks until she discovered her night could lead to (Hot) hot tub shinanigans. The walk of shame across town in the wee hours of the morning was a very cold & wet. It’s a good idea to take your clothes off before you get in the tub.

You’re Barred
Stu (Crystal) has been barred from a few establishments around town after getting ever so slightly hammered and then trying to get into places using phrases such as ‘don’t you know who I am?’ and ‘I’m practically your manager’. If you have to ask people if they know who you are then you’ve defeated the point of being somebody around town!

Collector’s Items
Georgie (Mountain Rooms) is collecting the male members of the Saloon staff. They believe she’s taking advantage of them in various drunken states, with Dan (Saloon) the last victim. Only one remains to complete the set, Georgie, but apparently he fancies your best mate!

Congrats
Chambers finally acquired her target last week and got a home run out of it. Congratulations on your persistence finally paying off!

I do
The Insider played vicar this week, marrying two bar staff in town. We aren’t sure if it’s legally binding, but please don’t come knocking on our door for a divorce as there’s far too much paperwork involved.

Rat Race
The date has been confirmed for the Greeneye Rat Race for 7th April, GET YOUR TEAMS READY!

Duvel
The Duvel rep was in town this week and certainly took Matt (Blue Note) for a ride. Last seen asleep on his own bar and talking something that wasn’t quite English, the rep obviously did a good job on selling his product to dear Matthew.

Question
Teddy (Saloon) would like to know whether you would prefer to shag a goat once and everyone know about it, or shag a goat every night and no one know. Answers on a postcard to Saloon please.

KP Dreams of Management
Rob (Danois) obviously loves his job as, when he falls asleep, not only does he talk about it but also shouts out the names of his managers Jules and Rach. Clearly these lovely ladies have been entertaining Rob’s subconscious all season.

RIP
Erin (YSE) killed Irish’s best friend and he claims he will never forgive her. RIP Albert the egg, aged 4 years.

Vom
Jock managed to be sick over himself and Verd (Le Ski) after he was handed a shooter that didn’t seem to quite want to stay down. He threw up over his companion who was apparently not bothered due to the fact that he ‘smelled anyway’. Jock, however, had no recollection of the event and was only told the following day, although he says he did know that he had ‘done something wrong’ whilst out on his bender.

Wax
Katherine (VSpot) has tamed her legendary nether region mogwai and finally had a wax. We believe it was a Californian. She celebrated by taking home one of the Surefoot lads for a show and tell session.

Smitten
Jack (La Foret) is apparently smitten with Sarah (Powder White). We wish you guys the best of luck but ask to be notified when you have completed the Foret rite of passage of getting down to it in the bar. We want to know which seating areas to avoid.

Spotted
Elliot (Dicks) and MC (Saloon) were spied canoodling in Dicks. Happy Birthday MC!

Rumours
Vicious rumours are spreading about Owen and Debbie having some Dicks staff love. We can’t confirm anything just yet but we’ll keep our eyes peeled for the dinner date.

Barreled Over
Tommo (Saloon) tried to have his way with Sarah (La Foret) in their barrel room but she wasn’t quite as keen and he almost ended up with a squirt of pepper spray to the face.

Burn Baby Burn
Sam (Jukebox Mama) had a trim this week as well when Jay (La Foret) took a Lynx can and a lighter, put them together to make a flame thrower and burnt off all the hair in his nether regions. Apparently he is a ‘hairy little hobbit’ so needed the trim anyway but he could quite possibly have done without the burns that came with it.

Help Please
Kat (4 seasons) needed help going to the toilet in her sleep the other night. IT required one of her housemates to carry her to the toilet, take down her trousers and pants and sit her down on the loo. She then went back to bed like it had been a run of the mill evening. Service with a smile?