Lockdown
Before they left, the Army managed to lock Rob (Danois) in their apartment while they were racing. Calls were made at the race for the boys to free their Aussie hostage, but all in vain. Rob didn’t seem to be complaining too much though, as he enjoyed some Xbox and TV courtesy of Her Majesty.
Shameless
Tom’s number 8 is obviously proud of her assets. She wandered through his apartment like it was a nudist beach, then went to the toilet with the door open before returning to his bed. The next morning while covering his dignity with a sheet, Tom had to ask a less than amused Katherine to get him a tissue. He must really have needed to blow his nose!
Top and Tail
Even when you have someone’s feet in your face it’s possible to get in the mood. Michaela (Moris) managed it with Phil, who had a little something to attend to when it all became too much in the evening. We’ve heard
reports of stroking, but nothing can be confirmed!
High Maintenance
Jack (Saloon) apparently takes as long as the girls to get ready for a night out. We’ve heard reports of GHD straighteners, hair dryers and fake tan. Apparently this gets him lots of requests from guys at the bar, perhaps not the attention he was looking for.
In Demand
Sarah (La Foret) has apparently got four men after her. We’d love to see her diary; it must be difficult juggling all the attention. Ski in the day, après, dinner, drinks and then a night out…it’s possible.
Please Sir, I Need The Toilet
Apparently the Warm Up toilets are being used for liaisons with toy boys. If there’s an age gap of more than ten years, that’s where to head. Apparently there will be a support group forming in the Moris toilets in a few weeks.
Gypsies
Saloon’s resident gypsy kindly asks the Dicks boys to stop stealing their things, horrified having been served a pint in Dicks in a Saloon pint glass. It would appear the Dicks staff have no shame when it comes to theft but, we ask, what use have you for a triangle if it isn’t Triangle Tuesday? They’ll be trying to steal shot
glasses next. Someone call the gendarmerie!
Lucky Escape
Poor El (Moris) had far too much caffeine last week and it landed her in hospital in Bourg for three days following an epileptic fit in Dicks. Lucky lady though, as her EHIC card took the hit on the 4 grand charge for the MRI scan (on a serious note, check the expiry on your EHIC)
Only Virgin in the Village
9/10 from VSpot is apparently one of the only girls in resort who would be able to wear pure white to her wedding.
Pot Shot
It has come to our attention that Jason (La Foret) has been playing more than pool on the La Foret pool table. Those tables stain you know!
Looking for Love
The Bananas girls would like to send out a request for some ‘nice boys’. Interpret that how you will, but we’re doubtful that putting an ad in the Insider will give you the results you’re looking for!
Love on the Sea
Dave and Leona (Pacific) are making baby steps towards the first Pacific union of the season, but apparently it takes more than a few drinks to get into Leona’s good books.
Sleeping Beauty
Dave (Ski France) obviously looks pretty while he sleeps. Having a quick cat nap against the DJ booth in Dicks he managed to pull a girl, literally with his eyes closed. It must have gone bad at some point as he woke up bruised and battered the next morning and also realised that he had eaten a hot dog, including the
cardboard wrapper it came in. A bit of fibre is good for digestion we hear.
8
8 in a week; now that’s stamina.
Lost Tape
Abi (Moris) thought she had lost every kind of tape in the Moris, from Duct tape to Sellotape. It soon dawned on her that she’d used it all taping people together for wingman, and even for taping the Insider’s hands together! You can tape our hands together, but we’ll still get the story in the end.
Young Love
Let it be heard around resort; Celeste and Johan are an Item!
Plumbing
Adam needs some help unblocking his sink. We can’t give you the details of the blockage, but if you know a good plumber then get in touch!
It was all a dream
Keith (Saloon) swears that girls having some fun on top of him, without his express permission to do so, keep waking him up. We believe he might just be taking a leaf from Frosty’s book and falling asleep during the vinegar strokes; either that or eating too much cheese and having very, very vivid dreams.
What’s Next?
Brommers brought a man back to après. It must be serious!
Wife Swap
Warm Up are once again getting their name about. Hugo got it on with Andy’s ex, while Andy slept soundly in the bunk below. Come on guys, at least use the bathroom for some privacy… that is, as long as your sink is solid.
Cold Turkey
Pacific have had to go on the wagon. It’s all got too much, so they are consoling themselves with tea and hot chocolate. Man up guys; you don’t want people to think you’re soft.
A Request
Alex, the Dicks staff would like you to leave your glasses at home. You’re far fitter without them! Don’t hide those lovely eyes!
Connections
Mike (Moris) was getting some attention from the ladies in Dicks but didn’t manage to capitalize, as he was sick all over the bar. Johnny came to sort him out, but Mike announced he would speak to Fraser who kindly let him stay. It’s not what you know, it’s definitely who.
